Birthday Mashup

 Day 16, Take 2 

September 19 2022

It was my 42nd birthday, thankfully the weather was kind. There were periods of rain but for the most part the skies stayed gray without leaking too much water on us. Work was busy and I found that I had once again exceeded the limits of my abilities. Between Punkin choking over the weekend and the processing of salmon during the rest of the week on top of my already jammed pack chore schedule I was beyond exhausted. Even as I write this two day later I still have no idea how I made it through the day. 

Brent took me for lunch and we had the whole place to ourselves because they were closed. They had made a special lunch just for me. 

The meal was fantastic. Grilled halibut fresh caught by local fisherman topped with grilled corn and a variety of onions and peppers served with a delicious homemade hot sauce and the very best French fries in town. It was such a wonderful treat.

Day 17, Take 2 

September 30, 2022

Life had drained every last drop of what it could from me. I had allowed it to pick me up, wring me out like an old dish cloth and hang me out to dry. 

I had gone into my reserve energy when I helped Punkin clear her choking episode. I had continued to use what was left of that energy reserve to process our year's supply of salmon. Once again I had made choices that used up everything that I had and more. 

Guilt covered me in a cloak of self pity. I knew better. I should be working on getting the horses into the trailer. There’s so much work that needs to be done. I can’t be taking a day off to lie around. 

So many thoughts eating away at me. So many things I thought I should be doing but my body and mind needed a break. I knew more than anything I needed rest. 

In my first round I had learned to rest and learned the value of rest. The harvest came and with it the change of season. A feeling of urgency for the completion of things I have started during longer days seems to grow stronger as the days grow shorter. 

I have been told by many people most of my life that I can not do everything. Still refusing to believe that’s the truth I find comfort in the words of.another. “You can do everything”, she told me, “just not all at once”.  

Day 18, Take 2

October 1, 2022

A sharp pain pierced through the blackness of my deep sleep. The pressure behind my right eye filled my head and startled me awake. My stomach turned and I ran to the bathroom. 

Migraines are not my favorite way to be woken up. 

This is not fair! I don’t deserve this! I didn”t do anything to provoke this! I told myself all of this knowing it was all lies.

The weather decided to do its part to help keep me in rest mode. I watched the rain pour down off the roof of our sun room from my cozy nest on the couch. It was much easier not to feel guilty when my head was pounding. Focusing only what was going to help me recover from my headache I spent the day deeply resting. 

The weather broke around the same time my headache lifted. 

I wish there were more hours in a day. Things could get done so much faster if there were more hours in a day. Even if I only slept those extra hours I’m sure I could do more.

The horses went into the trailer happily today. All it took was their dinner served in their bowls in their spots in the trailer. They ate with the door closed. They went in and out and it went very smoothly. No drama. No fighting. No stress. Just nice and easy. Like they hadn’t missed a day since all those years ago when we traveled together all over the island.

Tomorrow we shall go for a little ride and visit the house where they will meet the vet. 

***** 

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