MIND GAMES AND A RIGID BACK

 

MIND GAMES AND A RIGID BACK

How I tricked myself into getting back to the gym after a 2 month hiatus. 

The tin man syndrome, I call it. 

Motion is lotion, one of my favourite phrases and one you may have heard me say recently. I have been moving; I thought to myself with hopes that if I told myself this often enough, it would make the need for more targeted fitness go away. 

It is true. I move a lot, and for all basic purposes, I’m fit enough to do what life requires of me. 

The missing disc between T10-T11 started to radiate a thick band of stiff pain across the mid of back. My ability to move forward was still okay, backwards was a bit of a challenge, but once again I bend like a fence rail. 

The lack of undulation in my spine was a sure sign that the tin man syndrome was setting in. If experience serves me right, my next fibromyalgia flare up will be sneaking in right behind that tin man, sealing the fate of the next few weeks in a cycle of pain and misery.  

I knew what I had to do and how to do it. I knew that the energy would come if I showed up and started out slow. What I didn’t know was how I was going to continue to pursue a new career, work full time, ride my horse, drive my pony, look after my farm AND workout. 

Pain radiated through me and I was reminded that if I didn’t figure it out soon then there would be no more horses or farm. My dreams are hung on the ability to use my body and in order to use my body I have to keep it well moisturized, and the moisturization of tissues was going to have to start at the spine. 

Pumping the body’s good juices into the spaces between my horribly abused vertebrae can only be done by hula hoop as I discovered years ago. I suppose some people have luck with yoga or Pilates when it comes to keeping the intricate joints of the spine limber but I find the rocking of the hula hoop and constant desire to see what I can learn next  much more mentally engaging than traditional fitness.

The first problem I was going to have to solve was how to rearrange my schedule. Knowing from decades of fitness practice that I have to workout first thing in the morning or not at all gives me the foundation to start building my new plan. 

Luckily I am already up that early and wouldn’t have to teach myself to wake up earlier. I had done that part a few years ago, the space in time is one of my writing spaces which I am not willing to give up but I am will to move to another place in the schedule. Far too often, I have sacrificed my horse time. Making sure that adding one more thing to the schedule doesn’t tip the rest:activity ratio that undoubtedly cost me Horse O'clock is of utmost importance. 

Time is a solid constraint. As a rule time can not be not bent. To do another thing in the day, I have to give up something else. I could try to write and workout in the mornings, but the reality of it all the minutes in my life are full,  no matter how hard I try to pack more into them. 

I’m going to have to give something up now, so I don’t have to give up my horses and farm in the near future. 

I wish it was easy to quit one thing but I seem to be out of things worth quitting. So instead I decided to quit pieces of things that weren’t working out the way I had hoped. I’m still unsure if this means I’m working smarter not harder but I like to believe that it’s a step in the right direction. 

With the schedule tuned to allow for the return of my morning fitness routine it was time to get my mind on board. I love my workouts. I hate starting them and I had grown accustomed to the cozy mornings curled up on the couch in the quiet of the early moring to write. The thought of dragging my backside out of bed and down the stairs to the fitness space is almost torture. 

My phone holds a playlist I like to call a fit list. This is a special list of music that I listen to only when I workout. It’s fun and fast and mainly disco. 

When my workouts are going well I often wake up with those songs stuck in my head and they motivate me to get my butt on the dance floor and workout my back. The music helps me have fun and the more fun I have the more I get out of the workout. 

I chose a few new songs to help get me in the mood to move my behind at 4am. Then I chose not to soak the horses mash the night before. This was a cunning and manipulative move on my behalf. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with manipulating yourself into doing something that you know you really want to do. 

The feed room is in the basement. A wall of compressed hay bales separates the dance floor/workout space from the feed room. To soak the mash in the morning, I would have to cross the dance floor and pass the hula hoops.

The mind games I played with myself had done their job. The alarm went off at 4:00am and I headed downstairs to find my cat waiting on the floor next to the pile of hoops. After soaking the mash, I picked up my favourite hoop and pressed play, Stayin Alive was the first song up.

Taking care of your body is an important part of getting the most out of life. If we allow ourselves to get trapped in a lifestyle of only working the muscles we use daily, we risk getting hurt when new opportunities arise. Taking a small chunk of time even 3 days a week can help improve your odds of not getting hurt doing something new. 

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Killer Whales At Work

It was a nice morning the world was quiet and you could feel the the darkness starting to take back it’s place in the day. There’s a shift I can feel in the world around me as we begin our decent into the darker half of the year. 

There is just as many days in darkness as there is in light and just a few weeks ago the days were the same length only getting longer. I can’t complain really, it’s light out at 5:00 am and stay that way until well after 10:00 pm but I can feel it in the air. We’ve begun the decent into darkness. 

I worked on my writing this morning compiling all the old bits and pieces that could make up a story to see if there might be a chance that somewhere in the wasteland of words there might be a story. Then it was time to hit the gym. 

This week I have decided re-embrace the rest based lifestyle that I had worked so hard on a year ago. My heart has told me that it’s time to learn to relax or become permentenlty broken. My body however needs to move so we’re learning to come to an agreement. 

Today I put on my Fitlist and danced with my hoop. Setting up the space and getting my head back into the game I’ve decided that this will be the week I get my sustainable routine in place and my head an gym ready to begin the works outs again next week. 

All too soon it was time to go to work. The drive was dreary and I was already missing the brief moment of summer. A summer that seems to have slipped away into the dreary days of another wet season in the Great Bear Rainforest. 

I drove the windy gray road and noticed that the tiny set of twin fawns close to Masset still wasn’t with their mother. They seemed to be gumming the tender grass at the side of the road. They were small and their spots seem to be clinging to them more so than the fawns with obvious mothers. 

Everyday I see them alone my heart breaks a little, at least they have each other, I tell myself. It;s so hard not to interfere with wildlife so tame. Understanding the importance of colostrum and mothers milk in the infant stages I find it hard not worry about their health. 

Brushing off my concerns for the orphan twins I kept on my way to work. It was a day full of endless things to do. That is one of the things I love about my job, there is no shortage of things for me to keep busy doing. Then as I was busy working away from me a I heard “I saw a killer whale”.

I dropped everything and ran outside. Everything stops for whales in my world and they were the first whales I had seen all year. They were also the first killer whales I had seen on Haida Gwaii. 

The moved fast with the currents of the tide. Their black fins coming up out of the white caped water. Excitement and awe filled my being. What a special treat. 

Killer whales are ominous of death in the Haida culture, or so I've been told. 

Today I watched some of my old habits wither and slowly collapsed under the weight of the new hope I carry. Maybe that old life I’ve been fighting to shed has died and been taken away. 

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Riding My Dragon

July 11, 2023 

It’s a good thing that the weather on Haida Gwaii has been cool enough for some people to think of it as being cold. Because today Punkin Pie was hotter than Hades on a Sunday afternoon in August. 

The last time I rode her was close to a month ago and that ride had been part of a trifecta of misfortune that had led to a week-long migraine. After that came a visit off-island with family for my grandfather's 90th birthday, then the necessary time to recover both in my home life and professionally.  

Life in the clinic has been a test of passion and endurance these past few months and thankfully the more work my endurance the stronger I get and the more I can endure. The more I can endure the stronger I can feel my passion fill my soul. 

Tonight though I have reclaimed my nights. I love the nights. And nights on Haida Gwaii in July are light into late hours making the perfect time to ride. 

I tacked up Punky at 8:00 and headed down to the arena while tonka screamed in protest. It was technically his turn but I really wanted to get out and ride my dream horse. The dream horse that was bred special just for me. 

Knowing better than to just get on and go I asked her to do a few circles in the arena on the lunge line. 

Trot, trot, troooooo BUCK!!!

And just like that I knew tonight was going to be a bit of an adventure. 

The excitement stirred inside me. There was a time that I would have been afraid to get on but I work hard for nights like this. 

She continued to buck and snort and jump obstacles in the arena. Her jumping was starting to look less awkward and possibly even rideable. That could be fun , I thought to myself and tucked the thought away to save for later when my passion might need a little fuel to get me through the next big push of life. 

Punky had bucked herself out and dropped her head to the ground and started to relax. This was her signal to me that she was ready to go.

And off we went.

She left the drive driveway fire breathing dragon chasing the hobbits away from her gold. 

It’s okay, I told myself, we’re fine, everything is fine. For moment I wondered if we really were but she seemed to be doing okay and I let her ride it out. After all I like going fast and she was running away with me she was just really excited to get out of the gate and get going. 

A few driveways down the road she started to relax, then it happened. 

There’s only 3 other horses in town and one of them came running down his pasture to see what was going on. The thick salmon berry bushes had hidden him and we had no idea he was coming to greet us until he was right there. 

Punky flew sideways and my body being slower at moving sideways and having less notice about moving sideways left there like a cartoon suspended in the air with only a fraction of a second to think. 

Crap I might fa…

I didn’t even have time to finish the thought and my muscles snapped into action on their own. For the past two years I have been working on developing the right fitness routine for me and my lifestyle and tonight it did not disappoint. 

My legs remained soft enough to prevent the hot blooded mare from continuing her lateral outburst while my core and my arms coordinated themselves amongst the chaos and kept my already broken enough body from hitting the ground. 

It took a moment to regroup and there was a little conversation about pace but not even a minute later Punkin was walking on a loose rein and I was having a grand old time feeling safe on my fire breathing dragon. 

****

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 Today was leg day. I love leg day for multiple reasons. A few months ago I could barely walk up my stairs because my fibromyalgia symptoms were so bad. Today I not only climbed the stairs but climbed the stairs backwards. 

I raked the first pile of manure up into a scoopable little pile. It was the farthest away from the house, the farthest down the long winding driveway and the closest pile to the gate. The gate separates my fortress of solitude from the outside world and today I wasn’t quite in the right space to be so close to it. 

The steel tongs of the manure fork scratched against the ground bringing up the old manure, some grass and a few rocks. I don’t mind rocks in the garden after all that is where minerals come from and I want my soil rich with all good things including minerals.

Picking up the brand new plastic manure fork I scooped the first pile into the tiny bucket. The nice light weight of the new tool was a relief to my hands. For 8 years I have been struggling to keep up with the manure here on Haida Gwaii. First my challenge was the grass. The grass would always clump into the manure making it difficult to scoop with a plastic fork. So I bought a metal one. The next challenge was the wheelbarrow. For 8 years I have been fighting with trying to use a wheelbarrow on a property that really isn’t very wheelbarrow friendly. 

The hand injury has made the choice to give up on the wheelbarrow a must. Now instead I carry everything in buckets. The buckets are small and on leg day they are filled with a light enough weight that my arms aren’t being over challenged. The object after all is to strengthen my legs, heart and lungs while getting as much done as possible, without of course staining my hand injury. 

I scooped the first pile into buckets. Thoughts of the work week starting tomorrow crept into my head. Before I knew it the stress of the week to come was encasing me in a cement of my own anxiety. This is not the time or the place to worry about work. I thought to myself. I had promised myself years ago that the fitness time and space was about working with and for my mind and body. 

Clearing my head of all useless thoughts I focused on my body and what I was feeling in the moment. 

The first set of 10 squats completed, I headed up the steep driveway, my lungs burning. It was apparent that I will need to focus on my lungs more during my daily workouts. Up I went taking long deep steps. This is hard I thought.This is supposed to be hard I reminded myself. 

I pushed through the hard and focused on enjoying the power in my body. I was getting stronger so much faster now. A function I thought fibromyalgia had stolen from me. Being on top of my supplements everyday was the only way to FM at bay but my ADHD makes that a challenge. 

Life is hard. I thought. It is hard and it’s even harder with so many challenges. The purpose of a challenge though is to beat it. Thankfully I love to win. 

I train for life in “the gym”. The gym is the term I use for the time, space and energy I dedicate in a day to focus on just that. Training for life. Because there aren’t enough hours in the day to spend an hour training each part of me. My mind, body and farm chores often get creatively blended to one task that benefits many parts of my life. 

Half way through the workout it was time to start going up the hill backwards. This was hard. This was really hard. I stopped. I could just quit right here.  The sound of my thoughts strong over the gasping of my breaths. This was the first time I attempted the hill backwards and it was harder in so many ways than I had thought it would be. 

My legs burned in places I hadn’t expected. My mind protested louder and more than I thought it would too. 

Suddenly I got excited. This is what it’s all about. Pushing myself to my limits and knowing exactly how to work with myself inside them. Sweat started to pour down m y face. My heart beat heard in my chest. My lungs and legs pulsed with the power of being pushed. Nothing was unbearable, just really hard.

******

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The Curse Of The Long Legs

November 15, 2022 

While I might be one of the shorter people in my family I was still gifted the long legs. Long legs that come with an incredibly long gait. If I were a horse I would be a Tennessee Walking Horse because my walk covers a lot of ground very quickly. 

Having stayed home from work today on account of a weird ear issue I spent the morning trying to get my inner acoustical bits to balance out. 

After a great deal of snot what expelled my ears started to sound a little more like they’re supposed to. Feeling a little bit on the mend I thought I would go grab a couple bays of hay. 

I loaded the hay onto the hay cart and began pulling it towards the truck. First I stepped with my left foot, soaking in how wonderful my body was starting to feel.  Just in this moment I was finally felt a little better. 

For my functional fitness time this morning I chose the hula hoop. My ribs were feeling loose and limber, my shoulders free, my spine undulating as it was intended to do. My ears were clear, I could breathe through my nose and my head didn’t hurt. 

I’ve been working so hard for over a year now to make the changes I need to feel good. And in this moment I felt good. I felt relieved that I finally had a breakthrough. 

Then I stepped with my right foot. Pain shot up my leg and deep into my foot. Thick searing pain that stole the breath from my lungs.

My heels have been crushed by the misplaced hooves of many horses over my 30 years of equine experiences. None of that pain even came close to the pain that the edge of this steel cart had just inflicted. 

I gasped and did the Holy Crap That REALLY Hurt Face. Then tried to take another step. NOPE. 

I stood there, breathing it out for what seemed like an eternity, glancing around to make sure that no one saw my ridiculous injury.

I managed to load the feed while hobbling. I drove down the road, the mist wrapping itself around the shores of the Pacific Ocean, hiding the beaches in a beautiful fog. It was truly majestic and I would have loved to stop and take more pictures but my entire leg was throbbing with pain. 

I always forget how much pain sucks the life out of everything, I wanted to go to bed and feel sorry for myself but instead I put my foot up on some ice and set about my writing. At the moment it’s frozen and the pretty colors have started. Tomorrow’s a new day and just in case I have started to think about ways to move my body without putting weight on my feet for tomorrow's functional fitness time. 

The Taste Of Optimism

 November 14 2022,

I started my workouts again today. I wish I could say that I felt amazing and that my body was in the same shape Ieft it in. That is however not the case.

The short 15 minute work out that I half assed to say the least left me sore and tired and feeling as though I had worked out, which is I suppose the point of the whole affair. There was some sweat but not nearly as much as I sweat when I’m right into my workouts. Today was more of a fight through the awkwardness in hopes of recovering some grace in my movement sometime in the near future.

This tiny little workout has left me tired all day. You know what that means? It means I should have gotten back on the fitness horse much sooner.

There’s a nifty little lie I tell myself about how fit I can stay doing my chores and working my horses. Firstly the days are too short for decent fitness to come from outdoor work and play and the part about how my workouts work muscles I don’t work in life activities which in the end means my chances of getting hurt playing outside are minimized because of the time I spent focusing on the neglected parts of me. And if that wasn't enough on its own my doctor reminded me today that physical activity is very helpful in treating ADHD, and I know she’s right.

It’s not easy though. Especially in the beggining. And I hate to admit it but the discipline involved seems to be a little harder to come by these days. It makes me wonder if I use up my brains ability to be self disciplined at work. It could be just the season too. After all, it is the time of year that wraps you up in the comfort of darkness and makes sleep and rest so easy. This is the time of year I wish I was a wild human.

The garden is what really keeps me going right now. It’s something I can plan while the days are dark and cold and windy. The sprouts on the counter are turning green and providing us with food despite the days getting shorter and the rain getting colder. The little bits of green food sprouting the flavor of optimism right on the kitchen counter.

Preparing To Brave The Next Flood Of Life

 Day 15 Take 2 

September 28, 2022 

I find myself getting ready to expand my horizons yet again and continue my education a little farther. This training thankfully is a short training and should expand me a fair bit in a short period of time. 

Getting prepared to brave the next flood of life involves finding a photo of myself and writing an introduction. The introduction is not the problem. The photo on the other hand is a bit of a challenge. 

I’m not a fan of photographing humans and I’m not an exception. I do keep photographs of my favorite humans for the sake of memories. The honest stories told by the faces of children are a pleasure to photograph but when it comes to posing for a camera, especially my own I find it utterly ridiculous. This is why many of the pictures of me involve such props as excessive glitter, flying pics onesies, goofy safety glasses, rainbow mermaid pants or my person favorite excessive amounts of dirt. 

In the process of finding a suitable picture to go with the story I will be telling in my introduction I had to flip through a few years of pictures. To my amazement I had taken some before pictures from before I gave up all those times ago. The amount in which my body has changed since I have embraced a rest based lifestyle is amazing. I have been missing my rest based lifestyle and 15 minute workouts those days.

Making the commitment to get fitter and fix my diet has made a world of difference. It’s been at least 4 years since I could even dream about being capable of doing the things I’m doing now.

18 hours a day I’ve been working for 15 days now. Yesterday I did not sit between the hours of 5:15 pm and midnight. Coming home tonight I jumped in my truck and trailer and like I hadn’t missed a day in the past two years I backed that truck and trailer right up the driveway and to the air compressor to pump up the one flat tire. 

The rust had eaten away at so many of the non essential elements of the trailer. The fenders are in rough shape and this made me check the frame once again. 

It’s still good. This up and coming vet appointment is raising my cortisol levels more than I care to admit. 

Tire was pumped up and ready to roll. Fresh shaving and a hay net placed into the trailer ready for to provide road trip snacks. 

I grabbed Tonka and put him in the trailer. He was a little antsy but he’s a good enough boy to tie so I left him tied and went off to get Punky.. We got two feet in today. 

The smell of smoking salmon filled the air. There was fish to process. Tomorrow is a new day and I will take my tiny win. 

*** Photo Credit Kim Madore on my first ever ride to the Psuada shipwreck. Kim, if your're reading this thank you for taking the picture I will be using in the training intro I have to submit tonight. 

*****

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The Impossible Fires

  Day 9 Take 2 

September 22, 2022

And there it was crashing on the roof of ambition, soaking my dreams and making mud in paddocks. It came down hard, hard enough that I instantly regretted not having waterproof footwear that was cute enough to wear to work and fit my orgerishly wide feet. 

Wet feet for now. It’s only at work and they do dry throughout the day. I tried to not let the damp in my running shoes bother me. It wasn’t long before I was running fast enough tending to all the needs of all the people who needed me that I forgot that my feet were unhappy with their current lifestyle. 

Suddenly everyone was leaving and I realized it was time for lunch. I looked outside for the first time since I walked into the clinic in the pouring rain this morning. It was beautiful and sunny. Good Old Haida Gwaii I thought. 

We have a rule around here, if you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes. If you don’t want to wait 10 minutes then go for a drive. 

I left the clinic and was pleased to meet a very dear friend in the parking lot I hadn’t seen for several months. I felt the warm of the sunshine on my skin while we caught up quickly and then went to “our spot” to meet Brent for lunch. 

Every day at 12:05 I meet my husband at the pier, dock, warf? I never know what to call it so I just call it “our spot” 

The sun shone with a little more summer lovin left to give on the first day of autumn and I was grateful for every drop of it, watching the sea birds make pretty patterns in the ocean in front of me while I ate my luck with my favorite human. 

It was a treat to come home to the sun still shining. 

The rest of the work day vanished into the chaos and I was glad that the sun was still shining. 

On the way home he said to me “If you can get that fire light after last nights rain I will be amazed”, “but I bet you $5 that you won’t be able to get that fire light”

For 7 years I’ve been told by so many people that it was going to be impossible to burn that pile of sticks and mud. 

Armed with my fire starter kit I headed out to the yard more determined that ever to get my fires going. 

I’m am now $5 richer, I might even be $10 richer because I got both those fires going. And for the next 3 hours I ran what I refer to as The Fire Relay. Stoking and tending to one than over to the other clearing everything in my path. 

There were stumps, some of them I could barely lift. I picked them up and carried them to the fires. 

The world around me grew dark and suddenly I realized that I had worked way too late and way too hard. I stopped to look up at the all the hard work I had done. The forest all the way from my neighbors fence to my house was clear and I could see right through…… 

Oh no!! I could see right through!!! What had I done! 

Thankfully I am a resourceful woman! Into the house I went to make some curtains. Tomorrow I will start to plan some trail obstacles that are pretty,  permanent, waterproof and can withstand hurricane force winds. This seemed like a pretty tall order but after tonight I will never let anyone tell it’s impossible for me to do something ever again. 

*****

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Dead Zombie Goo

 Day 5 Take 2 

September 18, 2022 

I decided to try and make some high protein bread. Not having any of the necessary ingredients I decided to use what I had. 

Having made beautiful things out of quinoa in my past I figured I had this and would use flax and chia seeds to sub the eggs and psyllium husks to bind it all together and fall apart when you’re eating it. 

I cooked up the quiona and put everything into a blender. Then added some water, and more water and more water. 

The thick warm paste of mushed quinoa and seeds filled the blender and still wouldn’t fully mix. So I did what any mad scientist would do in her ktiechen and I threw some yeast into it and mixed it by hand. 

Taking the blob of yeasty quinoa goop out of the blender with the spatula I stirred it with I moved it into the parchment lined loafs pan. I had a good feeling about this bread. After all, my other quinoa breads were quite tasty. I let it sit on the counter for about 45 minutes hoping it would rise. It didn’t. 

So I popped it into the oven and let it bake for over an hour, quinoa tends to be a little on the moist side so I left it in a little longer than I should.The toothpick came out clear so I removed the loaf from the over and plopped it on a cooling rack. 

It spread. Like hot thick goo overflowing the boundaries or a crusty shell it spread right before my eyes. Slowly it started to sink through the rack. Crap I thought, what now? 

I put the crusted gooey blob onto a cookie sheet and popped it back into the oven. Maybe that will dry it out enough to eat. 

HARD NOPE. Maybe I could save it. 

I scooped the contents out of the hardish shell into a bowl and added more water in hopes that I might be able to balance the batter with something that creates horribly dry baking. This would normally be a job for coconut flour but I couldn't find mine. The last time I saw it I think I cursed it and sent it to the basement with the quail food making ingredients. Having deemed it unfit for human consumption because it was far too dry would have made it the perfect candidate. Instead I used dehydrated black bean powder, which can end up dry or moist depending on the recipe. 

The black bean powder had turned the goo a dead gray. The dead gray color you would expect to see of a decomposing zombie. Dead zombie goo I now called it. 

Having properly bloomed the yeast this time I had faith that it would work. 

My faith was once again misplaced but that didn’t mean that it wasn't going to rise in the oven. So I put it back into the oven and left for well over an hour. Nothing could still be goo in an oven for that long? Right? 

Wrong! I pulled the dead zombie goo out of the oven and just like before it was still a hot mess of mush, only this time it was well mixed and looked like death. 

Now these ingredients are expensive and sometimes difficult to get where I live. Wasting them was not an option. I pulled out the dehydrator and spread the dead zombie goo ever so thinly over parchment paper on the racks. 

My dehydrator has been making me crackers from this sort of concoction for years. It was my last hope. I sprinkled each rack with light dusting of sea salt and whispered to my dehydrator “Don’t fail me now” as I plugged it in and left it to run in the sunroom overnight. 

Horse O’clock which had started as a minimum of 1km has now evolved into “lets see what we can do in an hour”. Setting time boundaries with myself is a big part of my balance experiment for this cycle and so far I think they’re working really well. I let go of my tension and then like I had hit a secret button Punkin let go of hers too! There we walked, long and relaxed in an effortless fast gait. 

4.12 kilometers we walked tonight working on releasing tension while moving. Which puts us at 34.6% of the way through our Valkyrie Challenge and only 63.6 more miles of ground work left until our nightly walks will transition into nightly rides. And to think I almost didn’t go because of today’s earlier failure. 

*****

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Misty Morning

 Day 4 Take 2 

September 17 

The morning started out misty with a haze of white fluff covering the tops of the trees. I love it when the world is full of white fluff in the morning. The whiter the fog the more beautiful the day. Or at least that seems to be what I have observed so far. 

We decided to go hunting this morning. I packed a lunch with my chocolate peanut butter apple treat, ice water and fresh sausages while Brent got the gun, knife and ammunition ready and into the vehicle. 

Off we set up into the moutnains in the old farm truck 

The old farm truck hadn’t been driven for a while and made and few funny noises that unnerved me a little. 

We kept climbing up and up into the mountains until finally we were at the spot that makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. We stopped to tend to a failing windshield wiper blade when I noticed a funny smell. That horrible smell your brakes make when they're stuck. 

I mentioned the funny smell to Brent and went in search of a puddle to test the brakes for heat. Having found one not too far up the road we got out and gently splashed the wheels of the poor abused old GMC. 

Steam rose from the wheels and the smell continued. The breaks were stuck. 

We turned around and headed back down the mountain before we even got a glimpse of a deer

We made it home without causing a fire and got about our plan B, which for me was to fix the broken gate. 

Tonka had rubbed the old gate so hard for years that it finally disintegrated. It now lay crumpled in a lump of useless wood and wire on the ground. Fixing it meant that I was going to have to disassemble a different gate and use the parts. 

I took the old broken gate off its hinges and replaced it with the only two metal gates I have ever purchased. Both of which I scrimped and saved for years before moving to Haida Gwaii. 

It was Tonka’s turn tonight and I was grateful that the weather was going to cooperate. There was not a cloud in the deep blue sky. I pulled him out of his paddock. He went through the man gate portion of the new gate, and seemed to be just as pleased with it as I was. 

Down the driveway we went, excited to get in our kilometer of Pony Express. The days have been getting shorter but we still got to watch the golden sun sink behind the horizon. I stopped to take a picture of the magnificent scene but Tonka had a better idea and just as I hit the shutter button he flipped up his lip. Little stinker I thought to myself as I laughed out loud. 

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