The Truth About Time

Day 25

Maybe it was the wheat I ate yesterday, or the extreme over use of my badly damaged shoulders, or simply the sleep deprivation. It could have been the way I wore my hair or the way the new to me shirt hung on tight shoulders. 

No matter the cause, my body has once again shut down production. This time on account of a migraine. 

Thanks to a very low dose of medication, the pain of my migraines is no longer as extreme as it once was. There’s still pain but it’s fairly minimal, which has opened a door allowing me to experience all the other symptoms. My body feels tight in the neck and shoulders while the rest is more like jelly. Thoughts are slow. 

It kinda feels like my body is putting its foot down and taking back what I owe it. Tonight I will be catching up on some much needed sleep. 

The horses didn’t get their kilometer but I did do a little impromptu work with them at dinner time. Punkin is notorious for running Tonka off his old man supplements and stealing them for herself. I’ve built all sorts of makeshift ways to keep her out of them but she is persistent and crafty. Eventaully we’ll have a proper barn built but right now we have a few other projects on the go that are a little more urgent. They have a shelter and forest to choose from. They just don’t have their own custom designed bedrooms. It’s in the plan and part of the reason I’ve been sacrificing a little bit of sleep every night. 

Time goes faster than I do. Apparently I can’t go faster and I can’t slow time down. And the longer it takes me to figure out how to manage my personal restrictions the more time it costs me. 

Recently it’s become very clear that I can make money, excuses, routines, habits, and choices, but I can’t make time. I can say I will make time but in all actuality time is there and I can’t make more, it’s all I get no matter how rich or poor I might be. There is no way to buy more time. If I plan carefully and be careful with myself then maybe the barn will be done next year, but tonight I took advantage of a learning opportunity. 

I stood guard while Tonka ate his old man supplements. He was happy and knickered in a very cute and excited little pony knicker. Then he proceeded to eat his kibble. I have never noticed before but he eats one piece at a time and picks out all his favorite ones to eat first. Then starts on his next favorite ones. He’s methodical and extremely focused about organizing his food. 

Punkin came in, ears pinned and tried to find her way around me. She tried the mad face, the cute face, the sulky face and then finally gave up. I’m pleased to report that Punkin that when I left Tonka to obsessively eat his remaining, less favorable pieces, she didn’t try to steal them from him. Maybe I got through to her. Or maybe she doesn’t like the ones he leaves behind either. 

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